Week one down!

So my first week back at work came and went. It was so hard those
first few days. I could barely focus on the task at hand and all I
wanted to do was call my mom to see if caleb was ok. I couldn't though
I was back in the working world trying to catch up on 4 months of
changes. It is so conflicting being a mother. There is this part of
you that yearns to be home with your child/ren and that part of you
that loves to be the person you were before children. I am in that
place. I have learned now being a mom of 2, that it really is
important to have time for yourself. Everyone says that but they don't
tell you about the guilt. The mommy guilt. You know that feeling of I
am a bad mommy because I am putting myself before my child. I feel
that way about work sometimes. Because I am not uber sad about going
back then I am a bad mommy. Was my life easier when I was home? Yes I
only had the one job but being home all day with no one to interact
with is tough mentally. Try to be home and talk only to yourself then
do this 5 days in a row. It's hard to not yearn for outside time. Time
to be yourself and talk about things that interest you. But I am
struggling now in being the wife I always wanted to be. I am so tired
and after the boys go to bed I have to shower and get ready for bed.
By the time that is done and I watch a few minutes of tv I am done and
Matt loses out on my time. Something always has to give but I have
decided it's going to have to be work. I still will work hard and go
above and beyond, but I am not running in anytime and spending 5-7 hrs
extra there a week. My kids, my husband must come first and then me.
Because motherhood has taught me one thing for sure, I am important
and I need to remember my boys need a happy well adjusted mommy!
Sent from my iPhone

So my first week back at work came and went. It was so hard those
first few days. I could barely focus on the task at hand and all I
wanted to do was call my mom to see if caleb was ok. I couldn't though
I was back in the working world trying to catch up on 4 months of
changes. It is so conflicting being a mother. There is this part of
you that yearns to be home with your child/ren and that part of you
that loves to be the person you were before children. I am in that
place. I have learned now being a mom of 2, that it really is
important to have time for yourself. Everyone says that but they don't
tell you about the guilt. The mommy guilt. You know that feeling of I
am a bad mommy because I am putting myself before my child. I feel
that way about work sometimes. Because I am not uber sad about going
back then I am a bad mommy. Was my life easier when I was home? Yes I
only had the one job but being home all day with no one to interact
with is tough mentally. Try to be home and talk only to yourself then
do this 5 days in a row. It's hard to not yearn for outside time. Time
to be yourself and talk about things that interest you. But I am
struggling now in being the wife I always wanted to be. I am so tired
and after the boys go to bed I have to shower and get ready for bed.
By the time that is done and I watch a few minutes of tv I am done and
Matt loses out on my time. Something always has to give but I have
decided it's going to have to be work. I still will work hard and go
above and beyond, but I am not running in anytime and spending 5-7 hrs
extra there a week. My kids, my husband must come first and then me.
Because motherhood has taught me one thing for sure, I am important
and I need to remember my boys need a happy well adjusted mommy!
Sent from my iPhone